I bet you can’t help but tell the truth.
Over and over and over again, we can’t help but radiate what we really think and how we really feel. The slightest of facial expressions. The variation in tone. The body language. The speed of the conversation. The eye movements. The lapse between the request and the response. All of it is communication. All of it is the truth.
Now, it’s up to us who are listening to become detectives. Are the words and the other bits of communication diverging? Where are those micro bits of tension in the conversation?
The goal is not to stand, point, and scream “gotcha!” The goal is to explore the tensions such that the other feels more comfortable about expressing the truth.
But why should you care? Because once we get to that core, that’s where all the good stuff is. The ideas, the perspectives, the feedback, the trust. This is the stuff that ends up moving our teams forward, faster.