+1 (425) 442-3274 jonathan@sandcastlecompany.com
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Insights to help you create a compelling and connected culture

Leaders: Learn to be comfortable with uncomfortable silence

Tuesday Tactic: Surf the silence. 

I often hear inexperienced (and experienced!) podcast interviewers ask a good question and then, while the interviewee is formulating an answer, fill all the silence by elaborating.

Drives me nuts!

We also do this as leaders.

We step on the silence. 

We ask a hard question and when the respondent needs a moment to organize their response, we start adding. More words. More elaboration. More qualifications. 

Learn to surf the silence. Meaning, learn to be comfortable with silence that might otherwise be uncomfortable.

It’s a skill. 

During professional coach training, the instructors always urged us to ask shorter, more succinct questions and then wait for the response. They urged us to sit in the silence.

The instructors said, “the silence allows them to formulate a thoughtful response. If you keep talking through the silence, they will get distracted. Distracted people never get to the good stuff.”

The harder the questions, the more time you have to allow for an answer. Surf the silence.

by Jonathan

Jonathan Wilson is the CEO of Sandcastle, a leadership training and development consultancy. He frequently speaks and writes about building high performance teams. Jonathan regularly presents his latest findings and insights to business and government leaders at local, state, and national association events (both in-person and virtual). His first book, Future Leader: Rebooting Leadership to Win the Millennial and Tech Future is available now.

Tagged: Leadership

Published on: January 28, 2020

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